Life is short, without inherent meaning or hope. But the process the exploration itself is mine to discover. In the past, I was always afraid of losing things, anxious about the future, and stuck in a routine. I didn't know how to move forward. Confusion, fear, and avoidance. Perhaps death might be more effortless than survival. But I like a quote from Tagore:

I lose my way and I wander, I seek what I cannot get, I get what I do not seek.
From my heart comes out and dances the image of my own desire.
The gleaming vision flits on.
I try to clasp it firmly, it eludes me and leads astray.
I seek what I cannot get, I get what I do not seek.